Exceptions for the use of "scum" in a six-year old's vocabulary

ALPHA SCUM!!!!! DON'T JUMP!!! You have your whole life ahead of you!!!!

Scene I

Commander: [In an exasperated tone, as if he's had to correct Alpha Scum's behavior for the 19th time] "Alpha Scummmmmmmm!"

Alpha Scum: "ooo-kaaaay"

POW!

Alpha Scum: "Huh?"

Commander: "Space attack!"

ee-ee-ee-yaa-yaa [Alpha Scum and Commander are taking a beating]

Alpha Scum [is attacked from behind]: "Huh?"

Commander [falls forward from the blunt force of his attacker]: "Uh!"

eeee-eee-eeee-yuuuu-yuuu-eeee-eee-eee [sound effects of space attack as Alpha Scum and his Commander battle it out with their attackers] They make it out of the battle in one piece.

Commander: "Let's go!"

Alpha Scum: "Okay!"

shweeee [sound effect of wind as they travel through space to their next drama mixed with music that's a cross between Star Wars and an amateur practicing musical scales]


Scene II

Space monkeys show up where Alpha Scum is laying down on the planet's surface due to exhaustion from repeated unsuccessful attempts to jump through a force shield.

Narrator: "They turn off the engines because they don't know how to land because they don't know how to fly this thing because they're monkeys and they come down on an astronaut."

Alpha Scum: "Blue blistering barnacles! What did you do that for!"

Space Monkey [gets out of his spaceship]: "What do you have that rip in your space suit for?"

Alpha Scum: "Because you landed on me!"

Space Monkey: "Oh."

More music as Space Monkey and Alpha Scum try to move past the new planet's force shield. They are both unsuccessful at jumping up and over the force shield.

They look at each other, shrug their plastic shoulders.

Space Monkey [turns to Alpha Scum]: "What in the world do you wanna do?"


The End


......... Alpha Scum met his demise at the jaws of Maggie ............